You think you know... [entries|friends|calendar] you are the hope that keeps me trusting kept playing lovelike it was just a gamepretending to feel the same... catch me.. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

perfection...is it real?? [22 Jan 2004|11:07pm] [ mood | calm ] mk I think I failed the Brigadoon test because I had a "non-distraction" talking to me last night..but oh well. It is just a movie. No hard feelings ;-). It was worth it..lol School's been hectic, but I am getting finished with finals, and soon I can just chill. I got really upset in drama today because we had to do skits w/ groups and my group went first like 3 days ago, and we have 4 groups in all and 2 haven't gone because everyday, one of the people in the groups magically doesn't show up...and I am just really pissy because Mr. Booth said that if the people missing don't come tomorrow.. we'll have to come to school monday. And I don't want to. Jane said-- Well Jess it's not fair to them.. NO its not fair to me that I came through and they didn't and now I have to pay.. yes.. I'm done bitching now. lol Surfed again today. The current was really strong, so my muscles are killing me but I paddled out good. I have surfing pics I will post soon. Took a "Perfect Guy" survey.. ( my perfect guy has.. ) 5 kept surfing the midnight sky

new day, new way. [21 Jan 2004|06:46pm] [ mood | lonely ] I've been surfing alot again lately. I find it clears my mind. I love going right when the sun is setting..sitting on the board staring @ it. And sure I wish I had someone to stare @ it w/, but I don't think I will go through life alone.. I'm starting to truly realize that everyone is insecure about something, and many do not grow out of it. But I think I will.. I pray I will. Life is great, don't get me wrong.. just knowing it's great is whats frightening me.. because I know, soon, it won't be that way anymore. never lasts.. 5 kept surfing the midnight sky

ass biter. [19 Jan 2004|12:34am] [ mood | amused ] I hate how life can just bite you in the ass. Seriously..I like him..&&he acts like I don't even exist. I feel like a big Neon Blue sign is flashing infront of me saying "NEXT" but I don't want another..I don't want a "next". I want him. Is that so much to ask? I guess life just won't let shit be perfect. Perfect job, perfect new appt., perfect school...but no perfect one to share it w/.. whatever..I have such a problem with confronting this crap. Such a problem. I can't tell him how I feel..I'm too scared of rejection. There's always that saying girls have.. "but what if".. But what if I'm not skinny enough, or pretty enough. &&I feel like no one can relate @ the same time. I feel like I am just..alone. Oh yea..&&I am learning to drive all over again..by asian people.. Yea my friend Lindsey was like HEY JESS! COME TO THIS CLASS W/ ME. && stupid me, I am saying ALRIGHT! So I go..&&it's a driving class..runned by asians..&&for $120 dollars..I can get in a car w/ one..&&they are gonna reteach me the rules of the road..shit.. I can see it now! "Look Pedestrians! Go now! Go now! Slow down/moving too fast..don't worry bout car in back of you..you need to cut in right here..yes..where that car is.." Can we say--Jess is gonna die.? 4 kept surfing the midnight sky

New years brings in new times.. [03 Jan 2004|03:07am] [ mood | awake ] I haven't updated in a very long time! Christmas has come and gone. I got a new computer which I just set up, jewelery, new clothes, purses, and alot of money to shop. Abercrombie here I come. New Years was the best! I got to spend the night with my friends in my friend Jim's house. There were like 30 people there from my school.&&we had the best time! we did Hooka and Alcohol all night hahaha. Great times. Finally fell asleep @ like 4am. We watched Finding Nemo. I mean come on, what New Years would be complete with out that little fish. damn..Nemo. Anyways, so we woke up around 11am, and we all went to eat @ IHOP! woooooot! I had the best New Years. Resolution: [♥] be a better friend [♥] be a better daughter [♥] learn to have fun [♥] update lj more often. [♥] try to give my mom a break.. If only it were THAT easy.. surfing the midnight sky

hi, nice to meet you happiness, haven't seen you in quite a while... [28 Oct 2003|03:09am] [ mood | frustrated ] Hey! Haven't updated in forever! My bf and I split up. We are staying friends for now! I have a pic of me finally!!! well my friends took it when I wasn't looking. I was cold lol... boys make me so frustrated... So hows everyone out there? Volleyball is going well!!! I'm having so much fun in my senior yr. And I feel life couldn't get any better. I wish everyone could feel this way!!! I want a new cell phone. I hate my phone, it sucks. I'm getting a digital camera for christmas... OMG I can hardly wait!!! I talked to my friend Derek last nite. I'm really starting to like him alot, but I don't trust guys. And I'm just afraid of taking that leap out there... God, I need help w/ all this... 4 kept surfing the midnight sky

help me, im drowning [10 Sep 2003|12:48am] [ mood | crushed ] Its over... I can't believe its over... I miss you and need you beside me. I do love you, can't you see? Crying is a given... surfing the midnight sky

kill me now [01 Sep 2003|05:39am] [ mood | annoyed ] I'm sick and tired of the good girl image! ..............I'm gonna break out................. Who wants to party? 2 kept surfing the midnight sky

rock and roll all nite! [31 Aug 2003|04:09pm] [ mood | grateful ] Hey-- Today was great. I went to my friend Alexa's house and we sat around and watch movies and swam. I haven't been in a swimming pool in ages. Mostly the ocean. She got me a cake for Brandon and my 5 month anniversary. Very sweet. I can't believe that its been 5 months. And I love him with everything I have. We were friends before we went out so its pretty cool that we're able to know each other better than others would, just because of the friendship we've had. He asked me out on Halloween. It was so cute. I went into his room and he had Jackolanterns and each one had a letter (there were sooo many) and it all spelled out will you go out with me. The bed was filled with rose petals and everything. I seriously felt like I was in a dream. I still do... OK- I will stop talking about my bf lol. Anyways, school starts weds. and I dont want to go back at all!!! The only good things there are my friends and Brandon. Teachers suck and they hate me... haha but I would hate me if I was a teacher too. So I wont be rude about it. I have a math teacher this year named Jason Krueger... ugh... math and a teacher with both killers name... I think its fate. I'm seeing Lindsey tommarow and we're gonna fool around and hang out at the mall, which will be fun!!! HAHA Im talking about a friend non of you know... yes... sad! Lindsey and I have been friends for over 5 years now. She helped me through some difficult times. I dont think I would be here with out her. On thurs. it will be 3 years since the accident... <3 2 kept surfing the midnight sky

New times... [31 Aug 2003|02:19am] [ mood | anxious ] Hey-- My name is Jessika, this is my first lj so I'm kinda weirded out by the whole thing of people reading my life and all, since it isn't so grand as many will think. I live in California which is ok, but I have lived here all my life and I wanna leave already. Anyone who wants to take my spot here is certainly welcomed to it... I live with both parents though it seems like I'm just living with no one. Both of my parents are work-aholics, so never see them. I have a older sister names Tessa who is 25, ooo yes I am 17. Tessa and I are close but she lives in New York, so its hard with out her around. I have a wonderful boyfriend of 5 months. I LOVE HIM SOOO MUCH! Hes such a sweetheart to me! Our 5 months was yeasterday, and I couldn't love him anymore, or so I think... But watch it will happen, not that I'm complaining... OK I will write more later cuz I feel like Im blabbling on and on... yes... not a good thing to do... haha. <3 6 kept surfing the midnight sky

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